{Grandma Valerie's Funeral}

Valerie Fiona Dell

8 March 1953- 16 August 2013

Well it's been a while since I have had the chance to blog. Revisiting my mother-in-laws funeral is not an easy thing for me so I think that's why I had a hard time sitting down and doing it. There is so much for me to learn through this journey of knowing Val. She has influence so many peoples life for the good. The Lord as said in Mosiah 2:17, "When you are in the service of your fellow beings you are only in the service of your God." Val was so easy to love so it so easy to want to serve her. ANd as those people and I served her we were serving God. So Val in the very since allowed us all to work and serve the Lord. What an amazing mission. I'm not really sure if Val knew in the pre-mortal life if she was going to come down on earth and later in life allow the disease of MS take over her life, but I wouldn't all be surprised if she still would be willing to do it knowing that she would have the disease. Life for Val seriously wasn't ideal, and I once heard that she would do it again if it meant bringing her children closer to the gospel. 

{below is a picture of Jon and his mom & dad}

{Jon's Family at Oupas Surprise 60th Birthday Party}

So how did she die?
Well this is the reason why you should always right down your feelings. I'm glad Jon was able to write down some thoughts on the plan ride over. One day I decided to call home and I got Kristen on the phone and she immediately started to cry. She was so scared cause mom was being sent to the hospital and wasn't doing well. She was in the hospital I believe for a week and was doing better. Then one night she took a turn for the worst {sometimes I believe the Lord gives us that time to collect our thoughts of a possibility of hope but allows are minds to start to think maybe it's time. The best part is that The Lord gave us TIME}. Jon's dad would have Jon call the doctor and ask all the questions and get more straight-up answers. After talking to one I was ease-dropping. He got off the phone and I told Jon. I'm buying you a ticket-Jon in hopes and denial not wanting this to be the end said I don't know. I knew he knew but Jon was afraid to admit it and he was searching for that hope. I got on the computer and found an amazing price for a last minute ticket that would leave in 5 hours. Jon packed and I helped. At this time is was midnight and his flight was around 5. I am grateful jon was able to fly solo. I really think it allowed him to pray.
After I bought the ticket I told Jon that through my experience with my mom the Lord is very sensitive to our wants and needs and I told him that now is the time to ask the Lord for things to ask for miracles. I told him ask that your mom will still be alive by the time you get there. If you ask with faith the Lord is capable to make it happen.

So Jon prayed and his prayer was answered.

{Jon & his mom}

 {Val, Brendan, Tony, Amy and Jon}

While Jon was flying his family was really worried about Jon not making it. They said that Val looked like she was going to go any minute. Jon made it to the Hospital in the afternoon.  I need to have Jon write the rest of this post just cause it might be better to hear it from him.

Here's Jon {first timer at the blog.....no pressure honey}


   So it started the Evening before I flew out. My Aunt Jackie called and asked me to call the hospital because she had been looking through the chart and noticed it said "Grave prognosis" in one of the doctors notes. So I called the nurse and got the run around once I finally had the charge nurse on the phone and she had verified she could talk to me she was completely useless and didn't know anything or I guess in hindsight pretended not to know anything. She even told me she couldn't get the labs. Oh well I was getting frustrated and she said, "Well why don't you just talk to the doctor." I asked if that was possible tonight and she said no. Needless to say I was very frustrated and felt kinda useless after a few calls to Jackie and my dad, I got a call from my mom's doctor. I was happy to talk to him. He painted a relatively hopeful picture until I asked him if I needed to come to Vancouver. He then said it would be good. I got off the phone and called my chief resident and asked if I could go even though I was on call that weekend. He was great and told me to go take all the time I needed. Andie by this time had found me a ticket to Vancouver that left first thing in the morning so I packed and went to bed.
   The next morning I boarded the plane and left for Vancouver. I had a layover in Toronto so I had a lot of time to think. I started writing my feelings, memories, and such about my mom. I cried a bit but kept going then I started to violently sob. In order to avoid the strange stares and inevitable question, "Are you OK." I decided to walk around the airport and window shop for a bit. I was soon on the plane and off to Vancouver. By this time my anxiety has getting pretty high. Needless to say by the time I reached Vancouver I was a bit stressed and ready to get the hospital in an expedited fashion.
   So in true form the Lord decided to try my patience and faith a little more and had me barely miss my Uncle and so I sat on the sidewalk waiting and he sat inside the terminal waiting. Feeling very much helpless I tried calling home and having them call my family. Just then Uncle Bennie comes outside and finds me. We race to the car and start our hour long ride to the other side of Vancouver. As you can imagine Uncle Bennie cannot drive fast enough and he tells me we have to hurry that Auntie Jackie has been calling telling him to hurry and get me to the Hospital for hours, long before my plane even arrived.
   When we get to the Hospital Uncle Bennie drops me off with Hannah who knows where to go and we hurry inside. I was relieved and very happy to see my mom alive when I got there. She was breathing very shallowly and I thought she was going to die any minute. We sat around her bed and told stories about her, favorite things she did or said. We joked. I kept thinking I was going to look over and see her dead. However she just lay there not looking any better or worse. It got to dinner time so we took shifts to go get food. I was lucky in that Uncle Bennie bought food for Sarah that she didn't eat so instead of leaving I just ate hers. It was a wonderful day of us talking about my Mom.
   The whole time I kept thinking that mom was going to die any second so I started to wonder why she hadn't died yet. It started to get late so Auntie Lynn and Uncle Harry and The Solls all started leaving. We said goodbye and then sat as a family for about another hour just talking. At this time we started to decide to go home. Kristen wanted to stay so we were saying our goodbyes and my dad asked if mom would make it till morning. I told him that I had been expecting mom to die all day so I had no idea. At this point Brendan said, "shouldn't we do something." "Like what?" I asked. He replied, " I don't know we cannot just leave." Sensing he meant pray I asked him, "like say a prayer." HE said yes and we all agreed that a prayer would be the best think. Kristen later said she was praying that something would happen because she didn't want to be alone. We all knelt down around my mom's bed and touched her my Dad said a beautiful prayer. During the prayer I looked up and my moms breathing had slowed, become more shallow yet looked less labored. When dad was done praying we all looked at mom and I think it was Amy who asked if she was dead then Mom took a small shallow breath. We each gave my mom a last hug and then my dad held her head in his arms. It was then that she took her last breath.
   As you can imagine we cried a lot that day. We would cry and then laugh then cry some more. Some of it was just a little sobbing or moistening of the eyes and at other times it was, what I like to call, convulsive crying.  But at the end of the day it was the best last day we could have ever had. I believe that this was my mom's last gift to us and our Heavenly Fathers gift to her. At no other time have we all sat in one room and talked all day. My mom loved her family and we loved her so what a better last day than to spend it completely together. No fighting, no distractions, just her and all of us. We said we imagined her dancing off into heaven freed from the prison of her MS body, soon to be reunited with her eternal body but from now of "cured"of her earth ailments. Mom I miss you you were and still are my hero. No one I have met has had the faith that you had.

Love,  Jon

I'm so glad Jon wrote his version cause mine was a little off.

 {Tony, Val and her sister Lynn}

 {Val & Tony}

This is a letter I wanted to include written by my father-in-law. They are words I always wanted to remember. They were so sweet.

Val,... when my mom passed away when I was 18 years old I wanted so bad to call another mom my mom. I used to think that I didn't need a mom and my mom prepared me so well but I don't believe that anymore. Everyone needs a mom and just like I say about my mom. I'm glad to have you my mom for just a little bit then to never know you at all. You made me a better person, you made me put off selfish childish things and I grew more compassion and patience all while I drew closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. Thank you for being my mother-in-law. Thank you for loving me and giving me such wonderful advice. It's like I can hear you right now telling me that you do love me and telling me thank you for writing this down.  Because you always told me to write things down.  Your memory will never fade. It will only strengthen.  I love you too mom!